October 26th, 2006

Time: 03:55 am

why do I even bother with girls? I swear.. what is the problem.. You drive over to their house, they claim they haven't had a good orgasm in a year n a half ... You make them shake violently at least 3 good times and 4 others.... ...you're horny as fuck the entire time... but do they EVER EVER return the favor? FEK-NO! ......they just give ya fekin' hope. This isn't the first time... it happens like almost ALL of the time... what ... the ... fuck Really... way to much.. I don't understand why... The girls that will please a guy you don't need to ask... but shit... When you're already on the orgasm bit you shouldn't NEED to ask, should be an unspoken. Anyway sorry that shit just frustrates me to no end... I guess you could say I'm "sexually frustrated" but not really, more like annoyed by the lack of consideration.. I can understand the woman wanting to get hers before the guy gets his one or 2... But a 4 to 0 or 8 to 0 orgasm trade off isn't going to do shit... like a green day song... wheres the motivation? Anyway sorry need to get that off my chest... share the orgasms women... all we need is one to complete your control/dominance... its not fair anyway. And don't start with that "well I didn't ask him to make me orgasm I don't necessarily owe him anything back" ... just see how long that'll hold up in reality.... any of you guys had experiences like this? lemme hear, or women too if the guy is an orgasm hog.. ((PS, if your guy is an orgasm hog.. theres more than a thousand guys that are probably better looking, more interesting and considerate than that asshole you have)). And yes I know its NOT ALL ABOUT THE ORGASMS, but this is strictly my anger at the lack of understanding of most women I've met in this area.

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October 19th, 2006

Time: 09:29 pm

Will someone please get Kats attention and tell her to send me a msg on Myspace? I want to get as many people on there I can so I don't have to update it over week and weeks. Hell I'm finding people from highschool too... My sister is just determined. Jessica I'm leaving this to you!

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Subject: OMG MYSPACE?!?! Time: 12:40 am

My sister has finally pestered me to get my ..uh.. myspace up and running and to check it often to keep in touch. This being said, myspace is .... somethingstheyfight SEND ME A FRIEND REQUEST AND YOU SHALL NOT BE DENIED... really cuz I don't know everyones myspace. I know some fuckers LIVE on it though... anywho... so ya... hook yo bud up bishes.

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October 2nd, 2006

Subject: Flames, Flags and Flowers... Time: 05:22 am Current Mood: curious

I decided to post this so I won't forget....((I hadn't been watching any movies or news or anything that would cause this, that is what alarmed me and prompted me to write it down.)) In a dark room somewhere... among guns and books I stood they were all burning and children stood around them... throwing the flags of certain countries on top of the flames. Somehow I knew I was in China, and these children throwing the flags onto the fire were the children of China. Eventually even I threw a flag onto the fire, but I didn't like watching it burn... it felt like I was doing it just so they would listen to what I had to say just once... I spoke, but I wasn't Joseph. I felt like this old man...an old man of China. I turned to the children who looked at me with respect and I told them.. "Do you really want everything in the world to be the same? All the different people, culture and music... will be gone then. Gone forever and you can never get them back." (About like that). The children were listening, their eyes looked up at me with openess, they were only about 5 to 8 I think... I then turned away from the fire, honestly I distinctly remember not having a clue as to where I was actually going... and I turned back once more and grabbed one of the childrens arms in desperation...and said "Do you like flowers? Flowers are beautiful and the red flower is arguably the most beautiful of all, because red is a passionate color. But what of the blue, and the yellow flowers? Even still, what of the half blue and half yellow? Aren't they beautiful too? How would a field of flowers look with only one color?" I woke up after that... Perhaps its a dream of a past life...everyone knows when I get drunk I become very philosophical. I can't help but thinking that maybe I was an old chinese philosopher who would spend his nights drinking sake and talking about the universe with his buddies. Well I will never know, just thought I'd write it down. I knew when I spoke of the yellow and blues, I was talking about... certain ethnicities... and the blue and yellow were a merge of two ethnicities... which is just as beautiful because of the cultural boundaries they overcame and still fell in love... In short, this dream shocked me...

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September 21st, 2006

Current Music: Jane's Addiction//Incubus Time: 04:14 am Current Mood: mellow

Power tripping your luck is switched Oh, so now it's funny When it's your turn is to laugh You go poke the running joke! Scoring points with God Get no perfect marks But your grades keep falling How you treat the weak is Your true nature calling Porn chick calls herself a therapist Call it what it is... For all the money in the world We'll go to war you backward hero's Come to rescue you Just to lien on you With interests soaring How you treat the weak is Your true nature calling Please believe We still live and breathe Through native tongue And poetry All those years we believed, yeah Scoring points with God Get no perfect marks But your grades keep falling How you treat the weak is Your true nature calling ((thats a badass song, and this next one by Incubus I've been lookin for a long! LONG! Time.)) To resist is to piss in the wind Anyone who does will end up smelling Knowing this, why do I defy? Because my inner voice is yelling There is a fist pressing against anyone who thinks something compelling Our intuit we're taught to deny And our soul we're told is for selling Get out from under them Resist and multiply! Get out from under precipice and see the sky! Get out from under them Resist, unlearn, defy! Get out from under precipice and see the sky!

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August 29th, 2006

Time: 02:25 pm

Well I found this really neat game online, been meeting some really cool new people. I want to thank Mandy for showing it to me. On top of that when I came into the lab today, Kevin was there, I walked back to talk to Mandy and shes all like "You know what Kevin said to me?", just out of curiosity I'm like... what? She says "Hes like, 'Have you seen that bitch Joe? Tried to steal my Girlfriend'." I about died laughing, he could probably hear me. I don't think he knows that Carlie very much considers herself single. EVEN if they are still going out, I really don't care I still think that was the funniest shit I've heard in a long long time. On a side note, I don't want to hear him ever say that shit to my face after he tried that shit with Erin, when Josh was still trying to work things out with her. What a fuckin snake in the grass. anyway LOL.... I even walked up to him and said "Hey kevin! Sup man~!". Just to be obnoxious. God that never gets old, hes like his own worst enemy. Too bad hes pulled to much stupid shit for me to feel any compassion. Anyway, that was soooo funny. OH UPDATE:: just now he walked in and called Mandy a traitor. OMG so funny... I'm twitchin! LOL!!!1!1 he walked out

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August 22nd, 2006

Time: 08:26 am

Well it finally happened, Carlie and I are no longer friends. After years of pouring my creative affection, I can say goodbye forever. It feels like those days when I never saw her anyway. When she started going out with Kevin and no longer played Halo or hung out with us. So whatever, time for a new semester and I will be trying for some new friends. (And with little or no job, hopefully I will be able to hang with my original friends a lot more!) Maybe its the severing of the connection finally, that allows me to sit back and say, "What the fuck was I actually thinking?". Oh a side note, when someone freaks out about the word "love". Move along, quickly. She had a thing with nature I loved, and she sure was pretty. Btw guys my cellphone is gone, so if you need to get in touch with me then call up John. I'll post when I manage to get a new one hehe, later!

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August 20th, 2006

Subject: Its never enough Time: 10:25 pm

Ya know its never ever enough... You can be a friend to someone and along with a few other people tell them that someones doing them wrong. They might listen. You can adore them and accept them for who they are, despite the fact that their views may not synch perfectly with your own. You can write them poems that make their chest swell, talk with them for hours. You can go out on some great evenings and laugh and laugh. You can try to make them gifts and whisper sweet words of love to them. You can care so deeply about them, that the smallest despair in their eyes is the same as your own. And they seem to deeply connect to you too... in some way I guess. When you tell them 'I don't care what you do, who you hang with or where you go. Shit I'm not even going to be nosy if you don't want me too. If you're going to be sexual in your relationship with me, its gotta be only me.' Well if they can't accept that well whatever, I'm done. Now they want to go back to the way things were, I can't just hit reverse on my connection with a person when you care about them a certain way. When a person finds other people to replace the 'attention' you gave them, you're just tossed aside. No longer will you long for their voice, no longer will I write them poems or sweet words. Would I forget everything? No because it taught me a very important lesson. Which is way to cruel and truthful to post.

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August 15th, 2006

Current Music: Deftones- Change Subject: If I were water..... Time: 12:32 am Current Mood: thoughtful

let us gently step on those lily pads breath the birth of the wind gaze at it with chills slithering across the water let us roll inside those waves crashing with the birth of noise spinning to our ecstasy inside every foamy thunder let us soar into the sun the rays pulling ever higher ascending to endless heights shall shed the worries of all let us plunge from those clouds uncontrolled and countless uplifting ourselves from below an orgasm for the green let us gently step on those lily pads....

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August 14th, 2006

Current Location: Da Bay Subject: Crazy Time: 04:17 pm Current Mood: drained

The first day out there, we were dead tired. Dragging ki-yaks and an ice chest so full of beer and liquor that I thought we could never consume it all. Well I was wrong. We all ki-yaked out in some pretty deep waves, kinda scary at times cuz it got deep FAST! If you flipped well look out for jelly fish and sharks! Still very fun and a good workout. Enjoying the shade!! All of us were drooling over this! We stopped at Farmers Market, gathered all kinda of peppers, spices and things I can't even pronounce. Brenan is a damn good cook! The sunset! As caught by my cousin Drew! Theres not just gatorade in those Bottles! We crashed some Condos after leaving the beach and ki-yaking! They never knew we didn't belong there. Theres me, chilling in a chair, totally exhausted, sunburned and drunk! FTW@!1 Some goofy poses in front of a sandcrab! Bwah ha ha! The rest of these are some photos I took that turned out kinda cool I thought. Oh and for future reference, when you were as white as I was, SPF30 just ain't gonna cut it! HAHAHA -ow.... :d

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August 9th, 2006

Subject: Racing under the thunder! Time: 12:38 pm

Well late last night I stayed up thinking about the stuff I'll need on my little camping trip. I sat outside and watched the clouds roll by as the sky filled with lightning. No rain though, which is okay because otherwise I wouldn't of been able to school some noobs on Mario Kart DS. I love getting online with that little gameboy and kicking some Mario Kart ass. Pretty peaceful and fun overall. I expect to post pictures of the camping trip later :) By the way if anyone ever feels up to it, get a Nintendo DS and Mario Kart DS, gimme your friend code and I'll outrace that ass too. Sucka! Long as you have a wireless internet connection for the Gameboy to connect too we can play no matter where ye be! So bring it bitches!

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August 6th, 2006

Current Location: The bay Subject: My day at the beach. Time: 06:09 pm Current Mood: cheerful

So I stayed up late, saturday night eating shrimp with family that had come in town, slept late this morning. Got up washed my face n stuff, then went to put some gas in my car. As I was driving I thought to myself, damn what an absolutely beautiful day! When I came back my cousin was just leaving for the beach. He had his ki-yak and sailboat with him, asked if I wanted to go with him(Just like old times). So I hopped in and we went do down to the beach. All the houses were gone along the beach. The sun was shining with the clouds you see in young childrens artwork, you know the 'ideal day' kind of clouds. The water was cool as we pushed the boat out into the bay. The wind was REALLY good, we hauled ass in that boat. The waves were bigger than normal and a few crashed onto the sunfish. It was a challenge just to keep from flipping at times! As we pulled onto the shore, I grabbed a beer and relaxed as the clouds became darker, but the sun still shown through. You could see light and dark playing on the water and the beach. Suddenly a rainbow appeared, a big beautiful one that stretched from the bay to the other side, where the man made reef was. It was just utterly perfect and relaxing! I watched some people playing volleyball as my cousin's friend tried it alone, the wind grew stronger and he couldn't even keep the boat up... it kept flipping! heheh.... Afterward we loaded up all the stuff and drove back down as the rain clouds closed in and it started to sprinkle. Everything was was alive with scent, freshness and a vibrant green. Overall a totally unexpected day! I think this weekend I'm going to go camping in Perdido, Florida. Its been a while since I went camping. That place is crazy beautiful, you can see 15ft down and the sand is pure white and its got nice areas for camping. Its not everyday you see a rainbow like that, I wonder if it meant something.

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August 5th, 2006

Current Music: Listening to Immigrant Song now 0.o Time: 01:09 pm Current Mood: sleepy

I love this song by Led Zepplin, and the lyrics. "Kashmir" Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear Oh, oh. Oh, I been flying... mama, there ain't no denyin' I've been flying, ain't no denyin', no denyin' All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land Trying to find, trying to find where I've been. Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon, I will return again Sure as the dust that floats high in June, when movin' through Kashmir. Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear Ohh. When I'm on, when I'm on my way, yeah When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeah Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when I'm down... Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, well I'm down, so down Ooh, my baby, oooh, my baby, let me take you there Let me take you there. Let me take you there ((....thats just... totally badass song writing there....))

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May 25th, 2006

Time: 06:24 am

You scored as William Wallace. The great Scottish warrior William Wallace led his people against their English oppressors in a campaign that won independence for Scotland and immortalized him in the hearts of his countrymen. With his warrior's heart, tactician's mind, and poet's soul, Wallace was a brilliant leader. He just wanted to live a simple life on his farm, but he gave it up to help his country in its time of need. </td> William Wallace 79% Indiana Jones 75% Neo, the "One" 67% Batman, the Dark Knight 67% James Bond, Agent 007 58% Lara Croft 54% El Zorro 54% The Amazing Spider-Man 54% The Terminator 50% Captain Jack Sparrow 50% Maximus 42% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

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May 14th, 2006

Current Music: some whisper techno... ? Time: 08:03 pm Current Mood: amused

Another tally on the wall for girls with dirty mouths.. The first one was Erin with... "I'd like to fuck his brains out." now another today... a friend of mine at work says.. "Alison says shes going to get a job here, and fuck you." ...lovely... girls with dirty mouths... are just SO entertaining.

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May 10th, 2006

Time: 07:08 am Current Mood: indifferent

(((This poem is for anyone who has ever looked out a window at night a bit sad and thought about their past and somehow ended up finding a truly happy memory and tries to stay in it for however long they can, regardless of the fact that its not the now.)) ((Although illusions can be real if the experience is real to the person... and therefore the past can be the now whenever someone desires to engage in the illusion of reliving a memory... This is for you)) that lovely feeling of desperation like that taste when you wake up or when something blurs your vision and you cannot rub it away looking out a window and seeing both whats outside and whats in when the stars overlap your eyes twinkling in unison on that glossy surface looking desperately for a taste of a truly happy memory and you desire to go to them blanketed out over time like the soft night sky after dusk pulling from that scattered storage deep within your mind to taste a moment which never will be again and fearing that the future which so far has proven you right won't hand you anymore soft warm memories your mind seeks escape I'll always be running towards those twinkling lights in my eyes and on that window overlapping the stars in its own moment forever meant to touch just there like a trigger to a soft death it takes me back again...

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April 22nd, 2006

Time: 09:38 am

You prefer Passionate sex! You enjoy passionate sex. You're the kind of person that has tons of fun in the sack, and you can really get into it. Not necessarily rough and lusty, passionate sex is the kind that satisfies both your lovin' and horny needs. 'What is the best type of sex for you?' at QuizUniverse.com Passionate, unforgettable and eternal... I could kiss you so fiercly the flesh would break... pleasing you in every way you've taught me... in the exact moment you reach your climax I'd stop time forever... and then I'd whisper wordless truth from my heart.... then it would only be the end of the foreplay when love crushes all the boundaries I will create your ecstasy love me and take my hand lets go play lover ...I'm still waiting...

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April 16th, 2006

Current Music: Sin City- The Servant- Cells (Instrumental) Subject: HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! Time: 01:25 pm Current Mood: contemplative

Happy Easter everyone! I'm off to see my family and play with my little sisters! (Hope I have enough gas hehe) On a side note I dreamed about someone last night that I really didn't care to dream about. (Not much I could do about it though). Weird dream, but it seems even in my dreams my resolve can be stubborn, I wonder if I had known it was a dream while I was dreaming... what would I of done about them? I'll probably never know the answer to that one but its an intriguing question all the same.

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April 14th, 2006

Current Music: A perfect circle- Judith (Renholder Mix) Subject: Post Birthday Time: 06:57 pm Current Mood: cheerful

I went to mobile to celebrate my birthday this thursday. Sorry I couldn't get off to come see the mummies, but thanks for making my birthday so much fun! Honestly... that was the best time I've had in a long long time I can't remember when I laughed so hard. The pizza was great, and trying those new beers was tasty. Orange does taste good in them. Thanks to Kat for letting me drive her convertible around and riding in it, that was an orgasmic experience. Thanks to Josh for everything (though he probably won't ever read this) You're the best man. Thanks to Jigar and Blake for being themselves (Which is fucking insane heheh) Thank you Jess for providing your smile and presence always comforting when you're with us. Thanks to Crystal for going and teasing me constantly... such a bad girl :d Thanks to John for going along, despite some weird and awkward situations. (I promise I thought you were asleep!) Thanks Dave for showing off your lady skills (He won't ever read this either) And to Heather our waitress for being such a good sport. (She rocks really, second time we've had her) Just... that was a really good birthday... reminds me of when I was 7 and had a Land Before Time birthday... I barely remember it, but I have a picture and I was ontop of the world. I'm still so hungover right now, I feel sick but I've got a big smile on my face. For those of you who couldn't be there, you were in my thoughts. It wasn't a big planned event I kinda winged it. You guys are the best.

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April 8th, 2006

Time: 07:14 pm

Type your FIRST REACTION OR THOUGHT when you hear these 35 words (don't spend time thinking - just your gut reaction please): 1. I need: Time 2. Sex: Only if I love ya. 3. Relationships: Seeing the world through anothers eyes. 4. Your Last Ex: Never had one. 5. Power: Will 6. Marijuana: As long as it doesn't run you. 7. Crack: Ass and no. 8. Food: Sweet, spicy and sour its a new world in your mouth everytime. 9. This President: Hope he keeps us from war. 10. WAR: To protect those who wouldn't wage one. 11. Cars: Corvette, midnight blue, stary stary night painted on the whole thing. 12. Gas Prices: Ridiculous 13. Halloween: Another world of masks, maybe everyday is like a halloween of a sort. 14. Bon Jovi: hehe say what? 15. Religion: A tool to lead the individual spirit closer to god, not to control or dictate behavior. Which sadly it has been used for. 16. MySpace: Some very self centered people on that site... very scary to read. 17. Worst Fear: Giving in to something I don't believe in. 18. Marriage: A legalization of what you already feel in your heart, totally un-needed for those of strong mind and love. 19. Fashion: Very beautiful to look at, makes you wonder how other things look if you can see through a different mindframe. 20. Brunettes: With green eyes? hell yes. 21. Redheads: A bit off... 22: Work: Lets you enjoy things you might take for granted. 23: Pass the time: Freezing the moment and absorbing every strand of light. 24: Football: Very exciting and engaging :) 25: One night Stands: Boring. 26: Pet Peeve: People who refuse to see things differently. 27: Pixie Stix: I can never have enough water after those ;p 28: Vanilla Ice: Too cool! Too cool! 29: Porta Potties: Fun to tip over, but then you start thinking about the guys that need to use them later and can't, then you remember how that felt and you never did it again ;p 30: High school: A fucking vacation. 31: Pajamas: Leads to fun naughty things. 32. Wood: Warm and alluring 33. Surfers: Wish I could be one. 34. Pictures: Something special that freezes time and like a memory can be used to reflect and or pull emotion or contemplative thought, in a way that relaxes me, refocuses me and puts me in my time. 35. First Love: She knows who she is, but honestly it matters little now.

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